i permit you to call me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize