Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
