this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am naked and annoyed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize