ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
