bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the day after is always just damage control
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
