STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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