Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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