dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
