It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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