break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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