I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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