you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Your cock deserves a montage
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
