Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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