all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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