"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there was a trapeze. enough said
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
