Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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