college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
