Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
