Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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