school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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