So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
