sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
