dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
