I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
