guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we're so committed to being not committed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
