can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
