bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
