I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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