you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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