every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
