My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
