'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
