Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
