She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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