All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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