How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
