I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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