Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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