morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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