Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
