so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
