Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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