Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
