I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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