all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize