He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
