I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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