Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
