i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You are a genius and a whore.
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