This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
