Yo dont text me then not text me
I think my fart just growled at me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize