I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
