my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize