5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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