I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize