did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Say something about gay babies.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
