i just wanna soil my oats bro
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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