did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
