yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
