And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize