there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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