I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
