Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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