D3 body, D1 cock
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The Olympian is in my bed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
