Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize