We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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