It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
