he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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